Loving and caring for myself, in particular the body that I have resented and judged most of my life, is an area I struggle in and also the area, which brings me the most healing. Through introspection I have seen some of my demons. What I have discovered is that, more so than the Lyme or any co-infection, I am what prevents me from getting better.
To get a little personal, I did not like my body, I did not think I was smart enough, and I did not like the person I was. There was a lot of self-hate within me. So, the way I treated my body reflected that, especially the way I talked to myself. Why would my body get better, when it was resented and bashed? In a sense my body was fulfilling the image I held of it.
Once aware of this tendency, I started small. I decided to listen to how I talked to myself, (e.g. you really should be able to hold plank longer), while I practiced Sun Salutations in the morning. At first I really beat myself up. I saw that when I would talk down to myself, I would feel more frustration throughout the day, for example. As I persisted with the quick 5-10 minute practice, I stopped caring about how my practice looked to the invisible audience. I started appreciating myself for moving my body, breathing and centering myself every morning. Feelings of gratitude and health started to flow through my thoughts!
There are many ways to love and care for yourself, this is one example. I suggest you pick something small to start with. Combine awareness with the activity and transformation will come.
Be patient. Be honest. And open the door for love to come in.
This is the practice I do each morning. Starting with number 1 (the person in red), I hold each pose for about 10 seconds, slowly breathing in and out. You can go through the poses once or as many times as you like! I keep my focus on whatever is popping up, but with the intention to keep my focus on my breath and body.
If the poses are not in the cards for you, spend time breathing and in self-awareness.
Most important, SIMLE and have fun with it. Play and enjoy your body. Enjoy what you are capable of, no matter what it is!